What Happens to My Kids? Estate Planning in Second Marriages

Second marriages are beautiful in their own right—often full of hope, healing, and a fresh chapter for families. But when it comes to estate planning, they can also be legally complex. Blending families means blending not just lives, but also expectations, assets, and—most importantly—plans for the future.

Many families in second marriages assume everything will "just work out." Unfortunately, without a clear estate plan, the people you love most—especially your children from a previous relationship—may be left without the protection and support you intended.

Let’s break down what every parent in a blended family needs to know.

What Is a “Blended Family”?

A blended family typically refers to a household where one or both spouses have children from previous relationships. This can include:

• Remarried parents who each have children from prior marriages
• A spouse with children marrying a partner with no children
• Couples who have both joint and non-joint children

While every family structure is unique, blended families share a common estate planning challenge: how to provide for a new spouse without unintentionally disinheriting children from a prior relationship.

You trust them to eventually pass on assets to your children from a prior marriage. But what if they remarry? Or change their Will? Legally, they may not be required to honor your wishes.

The Legal Gaps That Catch Families Off Guard

Estate law doesn’t make exceptions for good intentions. Without a customized estate plan, here’s what can happen:

• Default inheritance laws apply: In many states, if you die without a Will or Trust, your surviving spouse may receive most (or all) of your estate—even if you intended to leave something for your children from a previous relationship.
• Children from prior marriages may be excluded: Unless explicitly included in your documents, non-joint children may receive nothing.
• Stepchildren have no legal inheritance rights: Unless adopted, stepchildren don’t automatically inherit from a stepparent.
• Verbal agreements hold no weight: Promises made between spouses or to children won’t stand in court without proper documentation.
  

For example: If you have a Will that predates your current marriage, it may be invalid or contested—especially if it excludes your current spouse. Estate plans should always be updated after major life events like marriage or divorce.

Tools to Protect Your Kids in a Second Marriage

The good news? Estate planning gives you tools to create a balanced, legally sound plan that protects everyone—your spouse, your children, and your wishes.

Here are a few essential strategies:

Revocable Living Trusts

A Trust allows you to control how assets are distributed and when. For example:

• You can provide income or support for your surviving spouse during their lifetime.
• After their passing, the remaining assets go to your children.
• This prevents accidental disinheritance and keeps your plan private (outside of probate).
  

Bypass or “AB” Trusts

These Trusts are designed to preserve each spouse’s assets separately, allowing you to:

• Leave your share directly to your children (or in a protected Trust for them)
• Ensure your spouse can access their share without controlling your portion
• Minimize estate taxes and future legal disputes
  

Explicit Beneficiary Designations

Update the beneficiaries on:

• Life insurance policies
• Retirement accounts
  Pay-on-death bank accounts
  

These assets typically pass outside of your Will or Trust, so naming your intended recipients is essential.

Guardianship Planning

If you still have minor children:

• Appoint a guardian in your Will to avoid court intervention
• Consider whether your new spouse would be a suitable legal guardian

Why Custom Planning Matters

There’s no one-size-fits-all estate plan—especially when your family structure includes children from prior relationships. What works for one blended family may not be right for another.

A qualified Estate Planning Attorney can help you navigate emotional dynamics while keeping the legal side secure, help you update your documents as your family evolves and ensure your plan reflects your current relationships—not outdated assumptions.

Final Thoughts‍

Second marriages come with second chances—and that includes getting your estate plan right. Whether you’re newly remarried or years into blending a family, taking the time to plan can protect your children’s future and bring peace of mind to everyone involved. Schedule a free consultation with Das Law.